stuttering shopper
A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?"
The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing. The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?"
Again, the clerk doesn`t answer him. The guy asks several more times: "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?"
And the clerk just seems to ignore him. Finally, the guy is angry and storms off.
The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk, "why wouldn`t you answer that guy's question?" The clerk answers, "D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat up?!!"
Saturday, September 30, 2006
bring me a sample
A 75-year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow."
The next day, the 75-year old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asks what happened, and the man explains,
"Well, doc, it's like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, but nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing. Hell, we even called up the lady next door, and she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."
The doctor was shocked. "You asked your NEIGHBOUR?" The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried, we couldn't get the damn jar open!"
A 75-year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow."
The next day, the 75-year old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asks what happened, and the man explains,
"Well, doc, it's like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, but nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing. Hell, we even called up the lady next door, and she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."
The doctor was shocked. "You asked your NEIGHBOUR?" The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried, we couldn't get the damn jar open!"
the restaurant idiot
I am barely sitting down when I hear a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?"
I'm not the type to start a conversation or fraternize in men's rooms at a rest stop but, I don't know what got into me, so I answer, somewhat embarrassedly: "Not bad!"
And the other guy says: "So what's up with you?"
What a question? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: "I'm like you, just traveling east!"
Then I hear the guy say nervously... "LISTEN!!! I'll have to call you back, there's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions, bye!"
I am barely sitting down when I hear a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?"
I'm not the type to start a conversation or fraternize in men's rooms at a rest stop but, I don't know what got into me, so I answer, somewhat embarrassedly: "Not bad!"
And the other guy says: "So what's up with you?"
What a question? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: "I'm like you, just traveling east!"
Then I hear the guy say nervously... "LISTEN!!! I'll have to call you back, there's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions, bye!"
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Monday, May 22, 2006
Yawn.Yearning for my bed.Can I?nope.Why?FIA ca tomolo.
sometimes it feels really good to be withdrawn from the outside world.to be cope only inside mine.tired to debate the rights and wrongs.disregarding the concerns of the world as mine.it feels good.i'm drawing back to be in search of the hateless me.i'll be happier.
kids are a headache.screamed my throat out but little edwin doesn't wan to move a row infront.Phew.Sat's over.Taught maths,english,science,creative writing and letter writing.wat a day.can't live without water.
Thank God I got to spend my lovely sat n sun with joe.makes me forgot bout the tiring day with the notorious kids.
paving time for shopping.to buy the pokka dots dress i've planned for.if it can't be found,i'll juz have to settle down on a black dress and a golden belt.shoes?have not thought bout it yet.
spotty's sleeping with mum now.haa.grown attached to her.glad.spotty do not have to be given away.lovely greedy & a full of pee dog.love him.the whole family too.
sometimes it feels really good to be withdrawn from the outside world.to be cope only inside mine.tired to debate the rights and wrongs.disregarding the concerns of the world as mine.it feels good.i'm drawing back to be in search of the hateless me.i'll be happier.
kids are a headache.screamed my throat out but little edwin doesn't wan to move a row infront.Phew.Sat's over.Taught maths,english,science,creative writing and letter writing.wat a day.can't live without water.
Thank God I got to spend my lovely sat n sun with joe.makes me forgot bout the tiring day with the notorious kids.
paving time for shopping.to buy the pokka dots dress i've planned for.if it can't be found,i'll juz have to settle down on a black dress and a golden belt.shoes?have not thought bout it yet.
spotty's sleeping with mum now.haa.grown attached to her.glad.spotty do not have to be given away.lovely greedy & a full of pee dog.love him.the whole family too.
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