Okies Peeps, It's JOKES TIME!!! grins........



Walking On Water

Three fishermen were sitting in a boat, fishing.

"I'm thirsty," said the first. "I'm gonna go get myself a Coke." So he got out of the boat, walked across the water, and came back with his Coke.

"Ooh, that looks good," said the second and got out of the boat. He walked across the water, got his Coke, and came back.

"You're right," said the third. "I think I'll get one too." He steps out of the boat and sinks like a rock.

"Hey," said the first fisherman to the second, "should we tell him where the rocks are?"



Hand Saw

Doctor Larsson was doing his normal morning rounds of the Psychology ward when he entered a patient's room to find his patient sitting on the floor, sawing at a piece of wood with the side of his hand.

Meanwhile, another patient was in the room, hanging from the ceiling by his feet.

The doctor asked his patient what he was doing, sitting on the floor. The patient replied in an irritated fashion, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?"

The doctor inquired, "And what is the fellow hanging from the ceiling doing?" "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a lightbulb."

The doctor asks, "If he's your friend, don't you think you should get him down from there before he hurts himself?"

"What? And work in the dark!?"


A Panda In A Bar

A panda walked into a bar and went up to the barman and said: "I want a steak and kidney pie and a Coke please."

The barman took his order and the Panda went to sit down at a table. Soon, a waiter took over the meal, the Panda gobbled it up, thanked, tipped the waiter and paid his bill.

All seemed normal until the Panda pulled out a gun from the depths of his fur, pulled the trigger and BANG! shot the waiter dead.

The barman rushed over and said: "Argh!! You just shot my friend!!!" The Panda calmly replied: "Do you know what I am?" "Of Course I do," the barman answered, "you're a Panda!"

"Good," the Panda replied, "now go home and look me up in the dictionary." And with that, the Panda walked out of the bar. The barman was a little unsure, but he was very eager to be enlightened on the subject of his friend's murder, so he went home to find his dictionary and after a while he found 'panda' and quickly read the definition...


PANDA: 1. A black and white bear native to China. Eats shoots and leaves.

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The End